Case of the Mondays


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I’m having a case of the Mondays. <—I’m not sure what this phrase actually means but I think it means you had a stupid day. (Since all the work people cool kids are saying it, I pretend to know and say it too.)

I decided to buy this spray at Whole Foods (side note: why is Whole Foods such a great place?  It’s like heaven in earth. Move over Starbucks, you will no longer be receiving my paychecks). So yeah, I bought this spray thinking it was going to be “calming’”…aka cure my case of the ‘Mondays’. I sprayed it around the room and since it wasn’t taking affect fast enough I decided if I sprayed it on my arms and chest, it would soak into my soul body faster thus speeding up the calming affect.

Wrong. I’m still feeling stressed and now my arms itch an insane amount.

In other Monday news, I spent $10.89 on 4 honey crisp apples today.

Reeeeally Honey crisp? I’m returning them tomorrow.

…Is it the weekend yet?

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Apartment hunting is dumb.


Who knew apartment hunting was such a joke? A big fat serious, time-consuming joke.

Plus, I swear it’s dangerous.

One man told me to just meet him in the basement as soon as I got to the apartment. Um…yeah, no.

I  have days of stories of all the apartments I’ve seen and all the weirdness I’ve encountered.

One man showed me an apartment that cost an arm and a leg and the best part, you could pee and cook dinner at the same time. Studio apartments? Not a fan.

Long story short, I will never look for a place again.

That means I will die a single, little old lady in my new apartment in uptown. And my 30 cats will eat my body.

The end.

P.S. I’m excited to live in uptown. I hope I become a hipster who wears large rimmed glasses and smokes cigarettes.

The end, seriously.

Chatty Cathy (and by Cathy I mean Caitlin)


So I decided to start this new “no complaining” rule. You know about work, life and the outrageous price of an iced latte. <–u g h.

Big goal? Yeah, I think so too. Psssh, easy peasy.

So today was day 1 of  the “no complaining” rule. It was going pretty great until I saw this one…

And then, I just let it alllllllllllll out. We both did. And boy, did it feel g o o d.

This is why god gives us girlfriends- to have someone to listen to us on our “days we aren’t complaining”

(well that and red wine)

“You will always be my friend, you know too much.”

An apple a day…


keeps the doctor away. I usually take down 2-3 apples in a day so I should be set for life right?! Welp, that statements a big fat lie (the no doctor part due to apple consumption, not the ‘I can eat countless apples in a day.'<— I can.)

I need to talk about my feelings/observations on the doctor’s office. Why? Because going to the Doctor’s office is such a weird adventure to me. Always.

Let’s get started.

Apparently, there is no internet/phone service in the doctor’s office now. Is this a new thing? Really, I’m just not a fan.

Side note: Just in case you were seriously concerned, it was just a check up. No babes, no sickness, no diseases, no dying. I may be crazy but at least I’m healthy 😉

Back  on track- no phoneo serviceo. What gives? What am I supposed to do? I love the mini panick attack I have when I realize I have no phone service. Breathe Caitlin, facebook isn’t going anywhere.

Why so. many. questions? Half of the questions I  didn’t even know the answer to.  I know my cell phone number, I know my address, but no I haven’t written a will yet and no, I actually don’t know my dad’s cell phone (opps, sorry dad!). In case I die tomorrow or become unresponsive, please just call my mother- she seems to know me better than I know me. I just ended up giving the reception lady 3 cards when she asked for my insurance. I told her I was new to this whole “growing-up” thing/my mom isn’t here to do this for me so please bare with me. She smiled and gave me 2 cards back.

What’s with all the old, outdated magazines/parenting magazines? My choices were basically literature on joint pain or parenting 101. Since I was not in the mood to educate myself on either of those, I stuck to staring at the wall and people watching. Good times, good times.

The dreaded scale. Dun dun dunnnnnn. Let’s have a moment of honesty- everyone hates the scale. Well, everyone except men. And babies. Because they probably never step on a scale/care about the number on the scale. So women… all woman hate the scale. I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Growing up we were never allowed to have a scale in our house because my mom didn’t believe in having one. Thank you mom. So why must I be weighed before I go see the doctor? First of all, I just downed a large grande Starbucks and I’m wearing a heavy leather jacket. “Excuse me nurse, you need to knock 5 pounds off of that number. I still am wearing my shoes and I mean, I’ve been stressed lately. I swear, that number must be wrong. Here, let me take off my clothes and let’s start over.”

Next time I’m stepping on it backwards. Or boycotting it. Again, really just not a fan.

The blood pressure gadget. I hate it.  I’m cool with the knee wacker and the throat gag stick but the blood pressure thing f r e a k s me out. It’s like I have this fear of it never stopping. I imagine it just getting tighter and tighter until it completely cuts off my circulation and my little arm bursts. Gah! Plus, I always panic when the nurse reports the number back to me “okay 300/82.” Okay? Is that good? Answer me!

That awkward time between the nurse leaving and the doctor coming okay.

Nurse (after all the questionnaires have been completed): “Okay the doctor will be right in!”

…an day hour later, doctor arrives.

I always wonder what the heckkkkkkkkk is the doctor doing out there during that time? I imagine him/her roaming around the halls, hanging out with his doctor friends. Or maybe he/she’s getting it on Grey’s anatomy style in those bunk bed rooms they have in hospitals. (Do those really exist?) I’m not really sure but it always takes f o r e v e r. This is always so awkward to me because it’s such a quiet, tiny room so I’m not exactly sure what to do with myself. Really, I want to get up and test out the knee wacker but I’m afraid this one time the doctor will actually be on time and walk in on me banging out my own knee. “Oh hey doc, just checking out the equipment!”

Instead, I stay glued to my chair and investigate the room from afar. I read all the pamphlets (within an arms reach) about 800 times. I’m so full of knowledge by the time I leave you could call me a doctor! <–kidding, but I sure do know how to use the knee wacker (favorite tool if you couldn’t tell. I was this close to stealing it. Shh!)

Finally, the doctor arrives. (Yippie!)

Well, first he/she knocks on the door. I’m never really sure how to respond to this. “It’s open! come in!”…or “Who is it?”…orrrrrrr just pure s i l e n c e.

I choose silence  tonight and went with a simple “hey” once the doctor opened the door. Awkward.

After this, its basically smooth sailing. As long I don’t have to give any blood or have any shots no one will get hurt.

And there’s my adventures in going to see the doctor. Exhausted?  I am.

An apple a day…


keeps the doctor away. I usually take down 2-3 apples in a day so I should be set for life right?! Welp, that statements a big fat lie (the no doctor part due to apple consumption, not the ‘I can eat countless apples in a day.'<— I can.)

I need to talk about my feelings/observations on the doctor’s office. Why? Because going to the Doctor’s office is such a weird adventure to me. Always.

Let’s get started.

Apparently, there is no internet/phone service in the doctor’s office now. Is this a new thing? Really, I’m just not a fan.

Side note: Just in case you were seriously concerned, it was just a check up. No babes, no sickness, no diseases, no dying. I may be crazy but at least I’m healthy 😉

Back  on track- no phoneo serviceo. What gives? What am I supposed to do? I love the mini panick attack I have when I realize I have no phone service. Breathe Caitlin, facebook isn’t going anywhere.

Why so. many. questions? Half of the questions I  didn’t even know the answer to.  I know my cell phone number, I know my address, but no I haven’t written a will yet and no, I actually don’t know my dad’s cell phone (opps, sorry dad!). In case I die tomorrow or become unresponsive, please just call my mother- she seems to know me better than I know me. I just ended up giving the reception lady 3 cards when she asked for my insurance. I told her I was new to this whole “growing-up” thing/my mom isn’t here to do this for me so please bare with me. She smiled and gave me 2 cards back.

What’s with all the old, outdated magazines/parenting magazines? My choices were basically literature on joint pain or parenting 101. Since I was not in the mood to educate myself on either of those, I stuck to staring at the wall and people watching. Good times, good times.

The dreaded scale. Dun dun dunnnnnn. Let’s have a moment of honesty- everyone hates the scale. Well, everyone except men. And babies. Because they probably never step on a scale/care about the number on the scale. So women… all woman hate the scale. I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Growing up we were never allowed to have a scale in our house because my mom didn’t believe in having one. Thank you mom. So why must I be weighed before I go see the doctor? First of all, I just downed a large grande Starbucks and I’m wearing a heavy leather jacket. “Excuse me nurse, you need to knock 5 pounds off of that number. I still am wearing my shoes and I mean, I’ve been stressed lately. I swear, that number must be wrong. Here, let me take off my clothes and let’s start over.”

Next time I’m stepping on it backwards. Or boycotting it. Again, really just not a fan.

The blood pressure gadget. I hate it.  I’m cool with the knee wacker and the throat gag stick but the blood pressure thing f r e a k s me out. It’s like I have this fear of it never stopping. I imagine it just getting tighter and tighter until it completely cuts off my circulation and my little arm bursts. Gah! Plus, I always panic when the nurse reports the number back to me “okay 300/82.” Okay? Is that good? Answer me!

That awkward time between the nurse leaving and the doctor coming okay.

Nurse (after all the questionnaires have been completed): “Okay the doctor will be right in!”

…an day hour later, doctor arrives.

I always wonder what the heckkkkkkkkk is the doctor doing out there during that time? I imagine him/her roaming around the halls, hanging out with his doctor friends. Or maybe he/she’s getting it on Grey’s anatomy style in those bunk bed rooms they have in hospitals. (Do those really exist?) I’m not really sure but it always takes f o r e v e r. This is always so awkward to me because it’s such a quiet, tiny room so I’m not exactly sure what to do with myself. Really, I want to get up and test out the knee wacker but I’m afraid this one time the doctor will actually be on time and walk in on me banging out my own knee. “Oh hey doc, just checking out the equipment!”

Instead, I stay glued to my chair and investigate the room from afar. I read all the pamphlets (within an arms reach) about 800 times. I’m so full of knowledge by the time I leave you could call me a doctor! <–kidding, but I sure do know how to use the knee wacker (favorite tool if you couldn’t tell. I was this close to stealing it. Shh!)

Finally, the doctor arrives. (Yippie!)

Well, first he/she knocks on the door. I’m never really sure how to respond to this. “It’s open! come in!”…or “Who is it?”…orrrrrrr just pure s i l e n c e.

I choose silence  tonight and went with a simple “hey” once the doctor opened the door. Awkward.

After this, its basically smooth sailing. As long I don’t have to give any blood or have any shots no one will get hurt.

And there’s my adventures in going to see the doctor. Exhausted?  I am.

Likes vs dislikes


Like: oranges <–new food obsession. ommmmmmm nom nom nom.

Dislike: peeling the orange and  getting squirted in the eye with orange juice. Ouch. Oh and I passionately hate the word “squirted”. Gross.

 Like (love): pedicures.

Dislike: having the pedicure (pedicurist?) man make me wait 2 full rounds under the dryer before I could leave. I told him I was too impatient to wait and he told me to sit back down or my nails would smudge. I listened.

Like: spring weather in February.

Dislike: snow after not seeing it for so long. I threw my scraper (proper name?) in the trunk today and literally an hour later it was snowing.

S t o r y o f m y l i f e.

Like: clean sheets.

Dislike: putting the sheets back on my bed. I swear the sheet with the scrunchy corners (you know, the one that is IMPOSSIBLE to fold) is never ever large enough for the mattress.It is like a violent wrestling match with the mattress. It makes me sweat every time. Don’t even get me started with the pillow cases.

Like: barre class.

Dislike: not being able to control my giggling during class because it burns so bad. When I get nervous I giggle, I’m awkward. I must learn to control this behavior. This is especially awkward when I have no friends in the class. And I sweat a lot.  L o s e r.

Like: having the day off of work.

Dislike: that horrible Sunday night (in this case, Monday night) feeling of knowing you have to go back to work tomorrow. Nooooooooooooooooo!

Like: that I have a new book to crawl into bed with and fall asleep too.

Dislike: that I drank an espresso (2 shot-er) at 7:00 pm tonight. Opps!

Likes vs dislikes


Like: oranges <–new food obsession. ommmmmmm nom nom nom.

Dislike: peeling the orange and  getting squirted in the eye with orange juice. Ouch. Oh and I passionately hate the word “squirted”. Gross.

 Like (love): pedicures.

Dislike: having the pedicure (pedicurist?) man make me wait 2 full rounds under the dryer before I could leave. I told him I was too impatient to wait and he told me to sit back down or my nails would smudge. I listened.

Like: spring weather in February.

Dislike: snow after not seeing it for so long. I threw my scraper (proper name?) in the trunk today and literally an hour later it was snowing.

S t o r y o f m y l i f e.

Like: clean sheets.

Dislike: putting the sheets back on my bed. I swear the sheet with the scrunchy corners (you know, the one that is IMPOSSIBLE to fold) is never ever large enough for the mattress.It is like a violent wrestling match with the mattress. It makes me sweat every time. Don’t even get me started with the pillow cases.

Like: barre class.

Dislike: not being able to control my giggling during class because it burns so bad. When I get nervous I giggle, I’m awkward. I must learn to control this behavior. This is especially awkward when I have no friends in the class. And I sweat a lot.  L o s e r.

Like: having the day off of work.

Dislike: that horrible Sunday night (in this case, Monday night) feeling of knowing you have to go back to work tomorrow. Nooooooooooooooooo!

Like: that I have a new book to crawl into bed with and fall asleep too.

Dislike: that I drank an espresso (2 shot-er) at 7:00 pm tonight. Opps!

Tuesday Things


Remember when I used to do Tuesday things posts like 3-4 times a week even when it wasn’t a Tuesday? Gosh I miss those days, only because I love ranting about stupid things. But look, I’m back! And it’s actually a Tuesday- double score!

1.) Can I say Happy Valentine’s Day again? Happpppppppppy Valentine’s Day! Wouldn’t that be cool if your (or my) birthday was on valentine’s day?! I would wear a red crown and throw glitter on people. Obviously the glitter would have magical powers and make them fall in love.  Oh my gosh, that would be glorious. Thought- I need to remember to make sure my first child is born on Valentine’s Day! Weird? Totally.

1 1/2.) Anything that involves glitter is great. The more glitter the better.

2.) Last night during Barre class I saw 3 guys walking by the window with big fat bouquets for their girlfriends. Or maybe their boyfriends. Either way it made me happy that someone, somewhere, was going to be surprised with flowers. Cuteness overload.

3.) Speaking of Barre class, last night we had to do jumping jacks. This made me annoyingly happy for one reason- I discovered when I do jumping jacks I feel like a little kid again. I could do jumping jacks all day! Sometimes (all the time) I do jumping jacks in the morning in the bathroom or around the house when I’m freezing cold. It warms me right up! Try it.

4.) I’m on an extreme chocolate sugar high right now. E to the x to the treme. Yep, true story.

Breakfast time…let’s just say before noon:

Chocolate bowl staring me in the face at work (damn that dish!!)

Me to myself: Is that acceptable to eat chocolate before noon? I mean it is Valentine’s Day. Yeah, it’s totally acceptable. I’ll just eat one piece in celebration of this holiday. Cupid would want me too. (what?)

After one piece: Okay well that was G R E A T! Like too great. Shoot I think I need another one? Yeah, I totally need another one. I mean it issss Valentine’s Day. Cupid would want me too?… yeah…

And then I lost count. And all sense of self-control. Nooooooooo!

And now I have an extreme belly ache and I seriously hope my dress still fits for dinner tonight. I also hope there is more chocolate involved in my night. <— I do.

That’s all folks. My little sugar high brain can’t keep up with my fingers.

One last time- Happppppppppppppppppy V-Day! Go spread the love. Just do it. Not it it, but it. You know what I mean.

I’m done.

Promise.

Bye.

Aaaaaaaaand walking away from the computer.

Tuesday Things


Remember when I used to do Tuesday things posts like 3-4 times a week even when it wasn’t a Tuesday? Gosh I miss those days, only because I love ranting about stupid things. But look, I’m back! And it’s actually a Tuesday- double score!

1.) Can I say Happy Valentine’s Day again? Happpppppppppy Valentine’s Day! Wouldn’t that be cool if your (or my) birthday was on valentine’s day?! I would wear a red crown and throw glitter on people. Obviously the glitter would have magical powers and make them fall in love.  Oh my gosh, that would be glorious. Thought- I need to remember to make sure my first child is born on Valentine’s Day! Weird? Totally.

1 1/2.) Anything that involves glitter is great. The more glitter the better.

2.) Last night during Barre class I saw 3 guys walking by the window with big fat bouquets for their girlfriends. Or maybe their boyfriends. Either way it made me happy that someone, somewhere, was going to be surprised with flowers. Cuteness overload.

3.) Speaking of Barre class, last night we had to do jumping jacks. This made me annoyingly happy for one reason- I discovered when I do jumping jacks I feel like a little kid again. I could do jumping jacks all day! Sometimes (all the time) I do jumping jacks in the morning in the bathroom or around the house when I’m freezing cold. It warms me right up! Try it.

4.) I’m on an extreme chocolate sugar high right now. E to the x to the treme. Yep, true story.

Breakfast time…let’s just say before noon:

Chocolate bowl staring me in the face at work (damn that dish!!)

Me to myself: Is that acceptable to eat chocolate before noon? I mean it is Valentine’s Day. Yeah, it’s totally acceptable. I’ll just eat one piece in celebration of this holiday. Cupid would want me too. (what?)

After one piece: Okay well that was G R E A T! Like too great. Shoot I think I need another one? Yeah, I totally need another one. I mean it issss Valentine’s Day. Cupid would want me too?… yeah…

And then I lost count. And all sense of self-control. Nooooooooo!

And now I have an extreme belly ache and I seriously hope my dress still fits for dinner tonight. I also hope there is more chocolate involved in my night. <— I do.

That’s all folks. My little sugar high brain can’t keep up with my fingers.

One last time- Happppppppppppppppppy V-Day! Go spread the love. Just do it. Not it it, but it. You know what I mean.

I’m done.

Promise.

Bye.

Aaaaaaaaand walking away from the computer.

i’m high


…on life. (gotcha. Tee hee)

This is how I feel today.

Except i’m not a cat. Although, sometimes people mistake me as CATlin. or say, “cat, for short?” <— Hell to the no. Never.

I don’t know what is going on today but i have the energy of a 4-year-old child who has a severe cause ADD. I feel like one of those little yippy dogs that runs laps around the backyard. It’s GREAT! greatgreatgreatgreat.

I haven’t even had coffee today. <—that’s not a lie.

I don’t know whats going on but when I get in these kinds of moods it scares me because what goes up must come down.

Noooooooooooooooooo.

ANYWHO- let’s discuss some great things shall we? We shall.

First things first- bare ballet. (!!!)  Shut the front door. How have I lived without you? I’m in love. Lurve. Lust. Obsessed. Make love to me.

I took my first bare ballet class today and holy guacamole what a phenomenal little class. It kicked my butt (like flames were coming off my butt cheeks.) and it made me fell like a little ballerina! Dad, will you make me a balleria bar? Please and thank you.

I can’t stop talking about how great it was and I probably won’t for a while so be prepared to hear about it for like the next year. Got it? Good. Go try a class, you won’ regret it and your butt cheeks will thank you later!

2.) This.  I laughed. I cried(from laughing).  I am this creepy cartoon drawing! I love when you can relate to something so well the whole time reading it/ROLF-ing (rolling on the floor lauging..for you mom) you are thinking, “omg yes! yes! Is this person writing about me? Is all I ever think about is me? Knock it off. and go get some work done.”

3.) This- Love Ever After Art Book.. whaaaaaaaaaaat?! C U T E with a capital C. I love old people in love. Ugh cuteness overload. I cried, naturally.

4.) Not cute- someone saying, “hey cutie!”. I heard this at work today and judged/flashed the devil eye.

Don’t say that. Or sweetie. Sorry it’s weird and makes me feel weird. #sorryimnotsorry

5.) Everytime I get into one of this out-of-body Im-having-such-a-great-day-I-cant-stop-laughing-prancing-skipping-back flipping I become so incredibly obnoxious on Facebook, twitter, blog, texts, emails, etc. It’s like I can’t get enough human contact! Honestly, if anyone was hanging out with me today they would have killed me, told me shut the hell up and sit down!

I canttttttttttt! and i’m off to run sprints around the house! Holla at cha girl, cutie 😉

Peace, love and rice cakes are gods gifts to heaven. (seriously)